"Classically Trained Musician"

I am a classically trained musician. I am a learned it exactly from the book, spent forever memorizing it, and played it exactly as I learned it kind of musician. I don’t deviate, and I definitely don’t improvise. That’s how I’ve always learned it. I am a the read the notes, play it that way kind of girl. And I’ve always been that way on my instruments. Church choir? Sing it exactly from the book, anything else would be a mistake. Bam! High school violin? Play your part from the sheet music and fit in with the rest of the orchestra. Bam! Piano? Prepare for recitals and contests. Play exactly what is in your music. Memorize it. And then toss your books far away from you and play exactly what you know how to. Bam! That is the way it has always been. Until I joined my college church choir.

Since the beginning, this choir has been a learning experience for me. I originally joined as a singer. At the start, that was pretty basic and followed my old routine. Sing what’s on the page and only what’s on the page. But singing in my church choir, also changed the way I sung. I was given solos (even if I didn't always want them), and I was told to try new vocal arrangements and they would let me know if it didn't sound right. I was entered into a whole new area of music, where it wasn't about constantly playing the music perfectly, it was about having fun and singing at your best. It was an area that I was completely unexperienced in, and I didn't think it could get any harder. Things really started changing when I started to play violin for the choir.

I am the only violinist the choir has. There is no violin music. There are no set standards that I have to play. I function as part melody, part harmony, and sometimes bass. Every song has a different approach. Do I play chords? Can I change up a vocal harmony? Does the melody sound really good on the violin? Every time I approach a song on violin in this choir, I learn and use my “classically trained” musician skills to learn a different song. To become more comfortable in finding my own way to make music. And I am constantly learning, constantly trying new things and seeing what works. I am learning to make mistakes in practice, and that making mistakes on instruments are okay. I'm learning to play my own part and to be confident in what I play. It makes me more confident to work at something that I already thought I was comfortable with and find new ways to express music. But it is still an instrument I know, and in that way it is still safe.

Recently, I was asked by my choir director to pick up a new instrument. Thankfully, just for one song (for now). For the first time since elementary school percussion, I was going to try and play drums. Whenever, you pick up anything new, it immediately becomes a learning process. How do I hold the sticks? What is the count? HOW DO I DO THIS? All things that flashed through my mind as I was learning one song in the 10 minutes before mass started.

Picking up the drums was good for me. It placed me out of my comfort zone, and helped me develop confidence, and focus, and I got to experience a new part of the music. I may have only played one song, but I learned something entirely new and something old about myself. I have the confidence to try out new instruments and play them in mass (new), and I have the dedication and will to try and see if I would be any good at it (old). For now, I may only be hitting the drums when no one else wants to, but I’m using those opportunities to learn something new and to grow in confidence. I may be a “classically trained musician” by education, but in the end I’m just a musician at heart.